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Pricey Care and Feeding,
Three years in the past, my mom died. She left me her good jewellery however requested that every of her granddaughters get to select a chunk after they flip 21. “Sadie” is my sister’s stepdaughter. Regardless of her dad and mom being divorced for years and my sister married to her father for a decade, Sadie actively refused to heat as much as our household. As a teen the few occasions we noticed her, Sadie would disguise away and never even speak to us. She handled my different nieces very badly and overtly mocked my sister. When my mom was dying, it was sudden. I used to be at her bedside and scrambling to succeed in everybody by cellphone. My brother-in-law forgot his cellphone was on speaker, so I might clearly him ask Sadie if she wished to say goodbye to my mom. Sadie’s response was why would she need to do this? This didn’t have something to do together with her.
I by no means introduced it as much as my sister or her husband, however I by no means forgot the utter callousness of that decision. Over Thanksgiving, my oldest niece turned 21, so I gave her the selection of which jewellery she wished. She selected a diamond bracelet. I assume she posted about it on social media as a result of throughout Christmas, Sadie demanded hers and made a giant present of how damage she was. Her fiancé was there. I instructed Sadie she had a whole lot of nerve to make any calls for when she didn’t also have a variety phrase to say when my mom was on her deathbed. Sadie turned white, and you could possibly hear a pin drop it received so quiet. I excused myself however might hear Sadie combating with my sister and her father. My sister is upset with me for not taking part in alongside and says I embarrassed Sadie. She desires a chunk of bijou to maintain the peace with Sadie. I’d relatively not. Sadie is 23. The time to be throwing matches is lengthy behind her. I would like an outdoor perspective right here, please.
—Troubled in Tampa
Sadie is just not entitled to any of your mom’s jewellery. Her habits whereas your mom was dying confirms that. Let your sister know that it isn’t your job to maintain the peace between her and her entitled stepdaughter, who’s a totally grown girl and sufficiently old to be held chargeable for her actions. Stand agency. Your mom wished to share her treasures together with her granddaughters. She clearly didn’t have a major relationship with Sadie, and there’s no purpose for her to be included in that group. Be assured in your choice and let your sister know that this isn’t up for dialogue. Let Sadie sit with the remorse of realizing that her refusal to carry out one easy, kind-hearted gesture has value her a fantastic piece of bijou.