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My Grownup Stepdaughter Has Overstayed Her Welcome, however My Husband Received’t Do Something About It

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Expensive Care and Feeding,

Once I received married, my mother and father gave me a two-bedroom home. It’s fully in my identify alone and it was meant as a little bit of safety for me and our child. My 23-year-old stepdaughter lives within the second bed room rent-free since she was paying for her personal education. Solely she has dropped out and spent the previous yr and half footloose and fancy free happening journeys and spending her cash. Our son is almost 3 and it’s time for him to have his personal room, particularly since I’m pregnant once more along with his brother. My husband disagrees with me once we speak about his daughter shifting out. She has different choices like her associates, boyfriend, or shifting again in together with her mom. She may not like paying hire or being accountable, however she usually is gone for weeks at a time and we’d like the room. My husband instructed we promote the home and search for a much bigger place. This one is paid off and I’m not juggling a promote, a transfer, and being pregnant on the similar time.

We’re very fortunate to be within the college district that we’re and with a great public transportation system since I can’t legally drive. My husband had his daughter younger and wasn’t current till she was older. He nonetheless feels responsible about it and she or he walks throughout him. We already had problems with her borrowing the automotive with out asking and bringing house strangers for intercourse. I’m hitting my limits right here. Assist.

—No Room

Expensive No Room,

It’s worthwhile to persist with your weapons right here. It might be ridiculous so that you can depart a paid-off home in a fantastic college district that has sufficient room for your loved ones. It’s not that your stepdaughter isn’t household herself, however she’s been a horrible tenant and also you want the house. Remind your husband that his daughter initially moved in so she may have a spot to dwell whereas she was in class, and that she has not merely dropped out, however she isn’t doing something productive together with her life or contributing to the family. Speak about what it means to you to have obtained the home out of your mother and father and that you just don’t wish to let it go. Let him know that you just perceive the guilt he feels for not being engaged along with his daughter earlier in her life, however that it isn’t an excuse to permit her to freeload once you all want house in your rising household. Give you an inexpensive period of time for her to seek out different housing—maybe three months—and inform your husband that she merely has to go.

—Jamilah

Extra Recommendation From Slate

Apparently, it’s well-known among the many mother and father in our baby’s circle of associates that one mom is a capsule pilferer (OxyContin, Xanax). She goes by means of a divorce and home-schools her kids. I’ve solely just lately turn out to be aware of this data, and I’m at a loss about what to do. Her son and my son love one another, however I don’t really feel I can let my kids be at her home alone. Greater than that, she’s a pillar in components of our group—she is board president of a preschool and runs packages for younger kids. I wish to assist her and her kids, however don’t wish to get the state concerned and make the kids’s lives much more traumatized.