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I Walked in on My Teen Son on the Worst Second. Can I Simply Fake I Don’t Know?

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Pricey Care and Feeding,

My son is 17, and I’m very unwillingly occasion to the data that he’s dishonest on his girlfriend (I walked in on him kissing one other lady in our rec room, and silently circled, greater than as soon as). I don’t consider in getting concerned within the friendships or relationships of my teenage children until one thing may be very mistaken, however I’m torn about this.

Ought to I discuss to him? Ought to I ask his dad to speak to him? His dad and I’ve a superb co-parenting relationship, however he’s not nice about what he calls “emotions stuff.” I don’t need to be concerned in refereeing a teen romance, however he’s doing one thing that’s extensively understood as hurtful, and I don’t need him to assume that’s okay. What ought to I do?

—Confused Mother

Pricey Confused Mother,

I don’t assume having a chat along with your son about this is able to make you the official romance ref. Asking him to speak with you about what’s occurring might be probably the most easy method; it’s open-ended, and offers him an opportunity to say whether or not his girlfriend continues to be his girlfriend and/or whether or not they’ve agreed to this point different folks (perhaps he’s kissing different women together with her full data, who is aware of). If he’s certainly dishonest, you may level out that his girlfriend can be damage if she knew, and it will be much better for him to be sincere.

Your son is 17, however he’s nonetheless your child and also you’re nonetheless his guardian, so it’s not mistaken or out of line to attempt to discuss with him about courting or relationships—quite the opposite, it’s a part of your job, and also you don’t want to attend till one thing appears “very mistaken” to do it. I actually hope you’ve already talked with him about issues like security, consent, contraception, and many others.—if that’s the case, then it shouldn’t be onerous to additionally discuss with him about treating the particular person he’s courting with respect.


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