Each week, Pricey Prudence solutions extra questions from readers, only for Slate Plus members. Submit questions right here. (It’s nameless!)
My mom sometimes displays, for lack of a greater time period, “Karen”-like conduct that may be embarrassing, and I’m on the lookout for a approach to get by way of to her that it’s not OK, and even generally there are higher methods to realize what she is making an attempt to get. I’ll say, her actions don’t come from a spot of maliciousness, or needing to really feel superior/be proper—fairly, my dad and mom don’t have some huge cash, and are very insecure over cash, so to them, each single greenback issues. However it nonetheless doesn’t come throughout effectively.
The most recent instance comes from my mother taking a pal and me out for lunch for my birthday, which was very good of her! However we ordered a dessert, which was a brownie with ice cream. When it got here, the news of ice cream was very tiny. My mother was incensed that they charged $10 for the dessert with such a small portion, and acknowledged that she was “going to say one thing.”
I informed her she higher not, and thankfully, she didn’t. I used to be so embarrassed she stated this in entrance of my pal, and likewise that my mom thought that the suitable approach to deal with the state of affairs was to complain to the poor server.
I later defined to her that it’s not like our orders got here out incorrectly, or cooked poorly, and so forth., and that if she actually felt like she needed to say one thing, the higher approach to do it might be to ship an electronic mail to the restaurant. She stated however then I’ve already paid. I once more tried to clarify to her that being sad with the portion measurement was not a authentic cause to complain within the second and attempt to get cash off the invoice, however wasn’t getting by way of to her. I hate to resort to, Mother, if you happen to actually don’t perceive what I’m making an attempt to inform you, I’m not going out to eat with you anymore, however I don’t know the way else to get by way of to her.
–Not Once more, Mother
Pricey Not Once more,
Maybe I’ve been endlessly broken by my lengthy expertise with the penny-pinching mothers, aunts, and mates of the best technology, who would assume nothing of debating the intricacies of Goal’s return coverage with the shop supervisor for 45 minutes, however this instance of “Karen”-esque conduct strikes me as extraordinarily gentle. So she was dissatisfied by the quantity of ice cream on her brownie! She’s allowed to politely inform the server in an try and cadge a pair bucks off or get a second scoop, so long as she nonetheless ideas generously. Relaxation assured that the server has handled far greater assholes than your mom right now.
Is it slightly embarrassing? Certain! Family members are embarrassing. In case you’d wish to keep away from future embarrassment, insist on taking her out to lunch.
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