Each week, Expensive Prudence solutions extra questions from readers, only for Slate Plus members. Submit questions right here. (It’s nameless!)
My fiancée may be very a lot nearer to her 20-year-old sister “Jess” than to me. Their mom died when Jess was little, and their father and stepmother weren’t emotionally current. I get that. I don’t get how my fiancée can let Jess jerk her round and get her manner. Jess has lived with us on and off since she was 16. Jess dropped out of highschool and refuses to get her GED. Jess refuses to get a job. Jess refuses to do chores or assist out round the home. Jess has the only real ambition to fuck round and learn the way a lot cash she will be able to mooch out of her sister. I’m bored with it. And I’ve hit my restrict. Jess is pregnant, begging to maneuver again in, and saying how she has turned over a brand new leaf.
My fiancée needs to imagine her and have her transfer again in. I do know if this occurs, Jess will do what Jess at all times does—lie her ass off after which lie down and never do a factor. The child can be a shiny new toy till Jess will get drained after which we’re elevating the infant. I’m this near telling my fiancée if Jess strikes in, I’m shifting out. Is there every other manner?
Expensive No Jess,
I’m not even positive if it must be “If Jess strikes in, I’m shifting out” as a lot accurately this: “We’re realizing we wish very various things. I respect that you just need to care in your sister, however I’m anxious about what meaning for our life collectively. I don’t assume I’ll be completely satisfied if she lives right here, and I don’t need to be able the place an precise child is affected by my selections. Let’s comply with reside individually and pause marriage ceremony plans till we will determine whether or not there’s a plan that feels good to each of us. If there’s not, we shouldn’t be married. This battle is likely to be an indication that now we have totally different values in different areas too, so perhaps we will converse to a premarital counselor about what these is likely to be and if we’re prepared to do what it takes to resolve them.”
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